Another New Day

Let me begin with THANK YOU GOD FOR A NEW DAY. THANK YOU GOD FOR HEALTH AND FAMILY AND FOR THE SUNSHINE OUTSIDE.

I needed to say that because I am growing a little weary of winter and cold so if I remind myself that God gives us winter for a reason it helps me get through the days. Having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) makes winter hard because along with it come Seasonal Affective Disorder. The short days are a challenge because without sunlight depression can set in quickly. Having had a CFS flair up this week has been draining but I am beginning to feel better now. It usually takes a few days to completely recover but my challenge is to not push myself through and begin running the marathon that is my life as soon as I begin to improve.

Mom is sick now with what we think is the flu. It is hard because I can;t do anything for her but talk to her when she calls. I wish I could make her feel better but I have to trust God for that. Hopefully she will begin to improve soon as well so I can get her out and do something with her.

We are quickly approaching tech week for Hairspray. While I am looking forward to the show beginning so that it can be over I am not looking forward to three weekends running this show. I REALLY don't like it but I love working with Jim so that is a fair trade off. I am looking forward to it ending though so we can regain so resemblance of order and family life. Jim always seems to be gone and that is hard on not only me but mostly on Stephen. He is so close to Jim that when Jim isn't here Stephen really misses him.

I worked out again this morning and found that it didn't hurt quite as bad as the fist time. Even though it has been a couple of days since I did it. I couldn't do it when I was sick so I thought I would have a really hard time today but I didn't. Stephen is doing it now and is NOT enjoying it. I told him it was good for him and it was like a gym class for him. He is not happy but is doing it.

Well, that is about it for today. Life is what it is and we are surviving. Nothing overly exciting but grateful that we wake up each morning. Thanking God for what we do have and forgetting what we don't.

It's snowing again!

I am getting tired of winter but I keep telling myself it is almost over. I am getting anxious for summer.

I started working on the Wii Fit yesterday. I have decided that while I am not going to be ridiculous about it that I would attempt to do things a little healthier this year. I think it would be good for my entire family. We will see how long it lasts. I worked out for an hour and today I feel like i got hit by a truck. I am kind of liking the Weight Watcher recipes that I have found. I have a bunch of Weight Watcher cook books but i am also getting some online from Weight Watchers online. Saturday we had Dijon chicken and today we had chicken and garlic. The Mustard chicken was wonderful but the Garlic chicken was NOT!!! i think if I play with it i could make it better but WHY?

Hopefully I will have the energy and the stamina to work out again tomorrow. I know it will hurt but I think it will be good for me.

I will keep you all updated on my progress.

Thanking God for My life

Today I spent the day with an old friend. His partner of 25 years passed away 12 days ago and we were going through papers and insurance policies and just cleaning in general. Watching the pain in his eyes and the way he wandered around his own home feeling lost and dazed made me think about what I have. It made me appreciate my husband and my son even more. I thank God I have Jim, Stephen, Mom, Donnie, Sharon, my brothers and sisters - in- law (all of them). Nieces, nephews, best friends, friends children and the list goes on. I started listing on a sheet of paper the people in my life and I realized if I listed them all the paper wasn't big enough. That made me think of how blessed I truly am.

I want to take time tonight to thank God for all of the people I love and the people that love me. I want to thank him for a husband that puts up with me, for a son that loves me and thinks I am the best, for a Mom who despite some health issues is for the most part healthy, for friends that are there for me and support me, for the memories I have of a Father who loved me and accepted me as if i was his. I miss him but I am glad he was my and will always be my Dad.

I realized today that it is important to take time to appreciate what we have because we don't know when it will go away. Tod though he and Victor had a long time together ahead of them. he was wrong and Victor died shoveling snow. It doesn't seem fair but I guess in the end life is not always fair.

I love you my family and friends and I pray that God protects you and gives you all peace.

Good night

Valentine's Day

A friend said the other say who was it that decided that a chubby baby, in a diaper, wielding a weapon would be a good choice for a symbol of love. I stopped to think about that for a minute and found it extremely funny.

Some young people on Facebook today were commenting on how hard it was to have Valentine's Day without a love. How well I remember those days. All of my friends had boyfriends before me, were married before me, had children before me and just seemed settled before me. I remember how hard it was to 'WAIT' on God's timing for my life but how wonderful now my life is because I did just that. While may times I find myself worrying about finances, aging parents, dealing with death of family members, hurts and heartaches of life, I always at the end of the day, know that I can find love, acceptance and safety in the arms of the one God had for me.

I have had friends that tell me I have the perfect husband. Let me clear something up now for the record. I DO NOT have the perfect husband. He is a good man, loving husband, firm but gentle father and he IS perfect for me. We balance each other out well. I am shy and reserved in the beginning. I take my time to scope out the whole picture. Jim dives right in. He loves life and people, while I love life after I figure out all the dynamics of the situation I am in, and I love people after I know that I am safe in the setting. Jim sometimes gets so wrapped up in providing that he forgets to play while I remember that playing is just as important. He gives Stephen room to grow and stretch his wings while I keep him protected and under my wings. He encourages me to trust while I remind him to be careful. We work well together. We knew that God had joined us together as a team and when we work together as that team nothing is impossible for us.

I absolutely love my husband and thank God for him. While we have our differences and our fights (don't we all) I know at the end he is the best for me.

To those reading this who do not yet have that special person, remember that God is in control and only He knows when not only are you ready but that other person is ready as well. Be patient and diligent in the waiting because the end is definitely worth the wait.

I LOVE YOU JIM. Thank you for loving me and our boy.

End of the Day

I want to know how you can be busy all day, come home feeling fine, go to bed healthy and wake up with a miserable sore throat and cough. It does not make sense to me how you get sick while you sleep. WHATEVER!

So it has been a quiet day, needless to say. I have spent most of the day covered up with a blanket, watching tv and playing on the computer. Thanks to Jim, Stephen got some school in today.

Jim had rehearsal tonight so Mom and I took Stephine to Pizza Hut because they have their Pizza buffet on Wednesday's. He loves their salad and bread sticks. I love that Stephen loves salad. His favorite is Olive Garden but who doesn't love Olive Garden salad.

I heard a wonderful line today from a friend on Facebook tonight. I want to know who it was that decided to use Cupid as the symbol of Valentines Day. When I think of love and romance I do NOT think of a chubby baby in a diaper coming at me with a weapon. How true is that?!!!!

Like I said not much excitement today. Kind of a BORING day since I haven't felt well. Hopefully tomorrow will bring more excitement but I doubt it since it is suppose to be so cold that I will not be interested in doing anything.

Good night to all, stay warm if you can and may God bless your homes and lives.

Much Better Day

OK so forgive me for venting yesterday. Sometimes it is necessary to release pent up feelings and emotions so that the next day can get better. That is what happened (as well as the person in question and I talked).

Today was a good day. We had a productive day at Explorer's and as always an exhausting day. My family is not a "morning" family so getting up with alarm clocks is never an easy thing to do. However, every Tuesday morning we arise to the wonderful sound of the buzzing of the alarm. WE groggily wander around the house, wake Stephen (not a happy time) and proceed to prepare for Explorer's. Regardless of how cranky Stephen is at the thought of getting out of his warm comfy bed when he realizes it is Explorer's day he is a bright ray of sunshine (well as bright as Stephen can get). He loves Explorer's. especially his Stage Combat Class (again with the weapons). This is the first class of the day and the primary reason for our early rising on Tuesday's.

From Stage Combat he goes to 4 other classes along with lunch and then he waits for Mom and Dad for an hour. Through all of it he is usually happy and helpful. He loves the other kids and he loves finding things to do. (Thank God for the Rainbow Steps room). He has made some new friends and for that I am grateful. it is worth the hour drive (one way) and the getting up early in order to see his interaction with other kids.

After all of this then we come home and what was last line of that kiddie song??? OH YEAH, WE ALL FALL DOWN!!!!!!! When we finally make the hour drive back home, fix dinner, sometimes fit swimming practice in and finally settle down to eat the dinner we fix we are ready for BED!!! So as I sit here at 8:22 finishing writing this I am very soon heading for bed. Unfortunately, due to the insomnia that accompanies the Chronic Fatigue I am blessed to have (Plagues with really)I don't always sleep well even though I feel physically exhausted. Oh the joys of being part of the sinful human race. (Thanks Eve!)

Have a good night and I will catch you all tomorrow. Remember that God loves us and He is in control, even when we feel out of control!

Bedtime

I am heading to bed now. I am praying tomorrow is better but since nothing has changed in my life I doubt it will be.

God give me the strength to see that I am who you made me to be and if other people don't like it or can't accept it the problem is theirs NOT mine. Protect my heart during this season of pain and mostly protect Stephen's heart so that he is not wounded in the fallout.

Thank you for loving us and taking care of us this far. I trust you enough to know that you will continue even if other people are trying to convince me otherwise.

AMEN

Feelings sometimes lie but not always

Stephen always says to me that I am the best. Most of the time I really appreciate it when he tells me that and I hug him and thank him for making me feel good. You see that is who he is. His heart is huge and he love me and I know it. Today when he said that though it didn't make me feel better. I don't feel like I am the best at anything.

I know that sometimes we cannot trust our feelings but sometimes we can and today I can't doubt them. I can try to list the things that I am good at and things I do well but there are days that the list seems relatively short and insignificant compared to the list of things I can't seem to do well. Today is one of those days.

Some days I wonder why God leaves me here. What good am I to Him or to my family? I do not have a job, I can't seem to finish school, I can't do enough to make everyone happy, I can't contribute to the home financially, I don't do enough to take care of Mom, I have a bad heart, I have Chronic Fatigue and I feel like a failure in most ways. Maybe it is just a feeling but sometimes feelings are very strong and overwhelming. It doesn't help that Cameron's Angel Day is coming up and I miss my baby so much that my heart is breaking.

I wish people would understand that what they say and how they say it can impact other people in such a way as to make them feel insignificant and unworthy to draw another breath. I know we shouldn't let people dictate who we are and how we feel about ourselves but it is easier said than done.

Another Sunday at the Pinards

So today is Superbowl Sunday. Can I just say SO WHAT!!!!!!! I think football is a ridiculous game where grown men get paid WAY TO MUCH to run around in their long underwear and beat each other up over a brown ball. WHATEVER!!!

Tonight is a movie night in our house. I actually rented a Jackie Chan movie so that we could watch with Stephen. I don't like Jackie Chan but Stephen thinks he is funny. I guess it is a guy thing because Jim likes him too. I rented "The Spy next Door" and all I can do it hope it is good.

Stephen is still sniffling and stuffy. The advantage to Home schooling is that they don't get all the bugs that go around the schools but the disadvantage is that when they are exposed to stuff they get it easily. The Dr. assures me that he will outgrow this. I hope so because I feel so bad for him. at least this time there is no fever.

We are suppose to get more snow again tonight. They are also watching some "big storm" forming down south again. I have to wonder if we have another target on our heads. We have had 42+ inches of snow this year but it seems like alot more, probably because we just get an inch here and an inch there so it seems like we are forever shoveling or blowing the snow. I guess that is what we get for living in Michigan. At least it is better than the east coast.

Enough complaining for today. Have a great day and talk to you more later.

The Weather is Doing WHAT???

I am thinking that we are going to have to get new Meteorologists on our news stations in this area. Last night they predicted that it would be cloudy today with a chance of flurries. This morning that changed to 1-2 inches. By the time i was leaving to drive to the other side of the world to see Hairspray (A show that I really don't like) with some friends we were up to 2-4 inches. When I came out of the show (2 1/2 hours later) we had 6 inches and the snow was still falling. Last week when we had blizzard warnings out and all the schools were canceled and the stores were crazy with people buying food to store up for the blizzard we got the same amount of snow. This storm had heavy wet snow that froze on the windshield with winds as well. So what was the difference between the blizzard warning and the winter weather advisory? See why I think maybe we need some new weather forecasters.

Luckily by the time i managed to drive home Jim had already cleared the 6 inches of flurries off the driveway. he had also helped the neighbors clean theirs but by the time he got theirs done we had another two inches on ours. This is CRAZY.

Enough complaining about the weather.

My friend Lois and I drove to Canton to Cherry Hill Theater to see their production of Hairspray. It was good but i really just don't like the show. it has some really raunchy stuff in it and this group left it all in. I know that Jim will clean it up at Players and that makes me happier.

Yesterday Stephen woke up with a runny nose AGAIN. The problem with homeschooling is that they aren't exposed to all the STUFF that goes around. When you join a group of homeschoolers then they start getting the stuff. the Doctor told me that this year will be the worst while he develops his immune system. I am just tired of seeing him miserable. Hopefully, he will be better in time for Explorer's Tuesday.

Well, it appears that tonight is another movie night. It is too nasty outside to go anywhere, Stephen is sick so we wouldn't go anywhere and I actually have Jim's attention for a few hours. Last night we watched Inception and it was HORRIBLE. Tonight we will try Salt with Angelina Jolie. Hopefully it is pretty good.

Have a great day, see you all tomorrow.

OK so today at Explorer's Stephen and I had a conversation over lunch.  I am going to repeat it here.

Stephen:  Mama, Explorer's is so much fun, wouldn't it be great to have Explorer's everyday.

Mama:  Stephen, that is called school.

Stephen:  never mind! (Sad faced)

After he got up and went to play I laughed my behind off.  I actually choked on my sandwich.  I love my boy!

Ok so here we are on a cold Tuesday night waiting for the snowpocolypse as it is called.  I have to beleive it is actually going to happen this time.  It started snowing about two hours ago and we already have two inches.  They said that during the worst it will snow two inches an hour.  I guess this time we have the bullseye on our heads.  Stephen is almost giddy he is so excited.  he has never seen a blizzard and so he keeps running to the door and looking out.  The innocence of youth.  If he only knew they worries that accompany a storm like this for the adults.  Will the power go out?  Will there be an emergency that we can't get out for?  When will they plow us out?  Do we have enough food in the house?  Oh to be a child and only think about how fun it would be to play in it.  I sometimes remember that innocence in my mind but I can't find it in my heart anymore.  I guess that is the downfall of growing up.

Had a good day at Explorer's. The kids in my class painted stone castle walls.  I am not sure they really had alot of fun but I want them to learn to do this stuff on cheap paper before doing it on flats.  I am not sure they understand these lessons but someday they might.  That is the advantage of being the teahcer, however, I can have them do things they don't understand and while they might question they still have to do it.  What I do have a hard time understanding is why I ALWAYS get the ADHD kids.  I mean, seriously?  We work with paint brushed, hot glue guns, irons, sewing machines, power tools, things that fly in the air and many heavy objects.  I get to do all of this while working with ADHD kids and in the mean time try to pull together a show that is not a complete embarrassment.  How is this possible, you may ask?  I have no idea but I always seem to get it done.  That is not always a credit to me but to God who gives me the patience to deal with it.

Well, I guess we are going to find out if I can take being confined for  few days.  I will let you all know how it goes.

Have a good night and stay safe everyone.  if you don't have to go out, DON'T!  better to be a live coward than a dead hero!

So tomorrow is Explorer's and then the SNOWSTORM!!!  So far we have been pretty lucky this year with only getting and inch or so at a time but I think it is going ot make up for that on Wednesday.  At last count we were up to 12-15 inches.  YUCK!!!!!  Stephen is excited about it but Jim and I are dreading it.  We already have 5 on the ground, four more tonight over night and then 12 -15 on Wednesday.  Oh WELL I guess I will keep doing laundry and cleaning the house.

Stephen and I started some new things in school today.  We made Groundhog puppets for Groundhog day, studied the weather (the snowstorm made this seem appropriate) and Michigan.  We have touched on the states but now we are going to go into depth on all of them.  This should be fun.   I think he will have fun.  He likes studying geography.

Nothing more exciting than that happened today. I guess it is days like today that make me wonder why I wanted to do this.  Oh Well I guess they can't all be this dull.

Hopefully I can get Stephen in bed and asleep earlier tonight than the past few nights.  I think he is getting ready to grow again. (God protect us all) because he is having trouble sleeping.  That is what he did last time and then grew two inches in two months.  He is already 5'4" and is 9 years old.  If he keeps grouwing like this he is going to be 8 feet tall.  The Doctor isn't worried so I guess I shouldn't be either.  I am not worried I am just tired.  4 am is not normal!!! Not even for me.

I hope and pray that everyone stays safe and warm during the next few days and if you get the chance go outside and throw some snowballs with your kids or go sledding or just go play in the snow.  I am sure I will be making a snowman sometime this week.  if you have to have the snow you may as well have fun in it.  God Bless!

OK so I forgot to come in yesterday and post.  I told you I was not good at this sort of thing, but at least I remembered tonight.

Today was pretty uneventful.  A typical Sunday at our home during Theater season.  We spent the day at Players, Jim directing, Stephen with his head stuck in his DSi and me going through prop closets and costume rooms.  Unfortunately I hurt my back while doing it so I am hobbling around now.  Hopefully it will be better by tomorrow.

I spent this evening printing out new worksheets for Stephen for school.  We finished our last section in Heritage Studies and I needed to pick a new topic.  George Washington and US Symbols is what I have chosen.  We will be studying Statue of Liberty, Liberty Bell, National Anthem, St. Louis Arch, Washington Monument and so on and so on.  I didn't realize how many there were until i started working on lessons and worksheets.  Oh Well it will be a fun section.

I have also picked weather for our next Science section.  Part of the fun of home schooling is that I get to choose what we study.  Sometimes i have to do things I don't want to but most of the time I get to pick fun stuff. 

It is 2:30 in the morning so I guess it is bed time.  I will see you all tomorrow.

Night Night

Day Two

OK so I have to admit this is kind of fun.  Last night I stayed up playing with the look of the blog and trying to figure out how to work all of this.  I will also admit that I am not very good at it yet but I am sure I can get better.

Stephen and I are heading downstairs soon to work on school for the day.  Right now he is laying on the floor of his room reading Percy Jackson and the Olympians.  I am so glad that he enjoys reading.  Unfortunately he enjoys the television  and video games more but I have decided that this year he is going to reawaken his brain to things other than video games and Cartoon Network.  It has been a little bit of a challenge so far and I am sure he feels like this has been some sort of punishment.  He doesn't understand that it is important for him to do things other than sit and watch mindless junk.  I am beginning to see a difference in him.  He is playing with toys that require imagination again.  When he does watch t.v. or play games they are much less intense.  We have enrolled him in a Theatrical Stage Combat class at our homeschool group and hopefully that will give him the skills he so wants.  He loves swords and wants to learn how to use them so I am praying this class will be a much better influence than video games.  Knowing it is taught by a Christian man helps my nerves.

Mom and I are going to the funeral home later to pay respects to a neighbor of hers.  Yippee, back to a funeral home again.  I am not surprised by her death though she was an old grumpy lady when we moved into that house 33 years ago.  She passed away last Saturday.  Rest in Peace Helen.

It has been interesting the past three weeks with Jim's schedule.  He is gone Sunday afternoon, Monday evening, Wednesday evening, Saturday morning and every other Saturday afternoon.  Then we are all at Explorer's from 9:30 - 5:15 on Tuesday.  I have made a pact with myself to not get frustrated with this but instead to embrace the time alone to do things that need to get done.  So far I have cleaned (throroughly) Stephen's room, Stephen's playroom, the kitchen, caught up on laundry (almost) and worked on my list for the shows we are doing. It has made the time pass fairly quickly.  Maybe it is good for us to spend some time apart.  With him working from home we are almost always together. 

Well it is time to return to the dungeon (schoolroom in the basement).  I don't call it that to Stephen but Jim and I call it that with each other.  Sometimes it feels like we live down there so I am glad that Jim did such a nice job on finishing the space. 

Maybe I will be back later, who knows.

This is new to me.  i have wanted to blog but never really thought I had the time.  I probably still don't but it is something I want to do for me.  I have realized in the last year that life changes so quickly that I forget things that have happened.  Jim and I were talking the other day and we were discussing things Stephen said or did and I realized I was forgetting some of these things and that made me sad.  When Stephen asked me whether he would remember what Papa was like I knew I had to find a way to keep the memories for him.  That is when i decided to MAKE time to do this.  I may not be very good at it but I am willing to try.  I guess that is all I can ask of myself.

Right now in our lives Jim and I are passing each other at the door most of the time.  We are working on two diffferent shows, "once Upon a Mattress" and "Hairspray."  We are doing "Once Upon a Mattress" with our Homeschool Group in Ann Arbor.  Jim is directing, I am producing and teaching the Tech class with our new friend Norma.  We are having fun with this.  At the same time Jim is also directing Hairspray with the theater group in Detroit, Park Players, and that opens in March.  It is nice this time because I have been able to reconnect with a high school friend, Lois, and her daughter who auditioned and were cast in the show.

2010 was a year that I was glad to see come to an end.  It was a painful year emotionally with the loss of Dad in January and then Fred in September.  Two Dad's in one year.  WOW!  I guess I had reason to hate 2010.  I have been praying that 2011 is a much better year.  So far at least noone has died. 

I am praying that God gives up peace this year and that we are able to grow closer to Him as a family.  We want to be able to find a church that Mom would be comfortable at as well as us.  This could be a pretty big task since we all want different things but I believe that God is great and that He has something for us.

Well that is all for today.  See you all tomorrow.