On September 29th I had surgery on my mouth. I was doing ok and seemed to be healing but then I got the stomach flu! NOT FUN! Now I am struggling with 3 dry sockets. For those who don't know they are very painful. I keep asking why? Why can't it be easy? Why do I have to go through this? Why doesn't Jim have a job yet? Why aren't we already on our way to Florida? Why? Why? Why?
Through all of the healing I would not have been able to deal with the flu and the pain and still take care of Stephen and help Mom by myself. I needed Jim here. If we had gone to Florida before my surgery it would have meant many more months of pain and delay in getting everything fixed. If Jim was already in Florida working and we were here, I would have had to do all of this alone. He would not have been with me at the clinic nor when I came home. He monitored my pain meds, helped me find food I could eat, cooked for Mom and Stephen and in general became my hero again. I was reminded that we are a team. We are there for each other. Through all of the packing and preparing to move, I think I had forgotten that. Not to mention that if he were in Florida already and I was still in Michigan, we would have spent our 15th anniversary in separate states. It wasn't how I planned our 15th anniversary, but we still spent it together.
Now, it is a month later (almost). I am beginning to feel better. The pain is manageable now with Motrin instead of Vicodin. I am beginning to reengage in life. I am able to work with Stephen in school again (we are catching up). I actually went out for a while yesterday. I began working on packing things up again today. It was short by I did it. I am planning for the future again, instead of dreading the surgery.
On Wednesday, October 29, Jim is flying to Florida for a job interview. Now, we are ready. Now I can handle him being gone. Now he can focus on preparing what he needs for the interview. Now he can be down there and not worried about me here. Now, is the perfect time.
What does all this mean, you ask. It means that even through the past month of pain, fear, unrest, frustration, sickness and restlessness, God had us. He knew what I needed and He knew that I needed Jim here. He knew that we needed to be the team that He called us to be. Now I can take care of things around here (not fast but I can do it) and Jim can prepare for the interview. We are praying with everything we have that this is the job. It is a good fit for him and he feels good about it. I keep telling myself they wouldn't be fling him down if he wasn't in the running for it. I have to wonder, if this doesn't work out and it isn't the job God has for him, will I be angry? Will i still trust? I don't know the answer. I hope that I will. I will do everything I can to trust and continue to believe. I can't promise I wont be disappointed or sad, but I will trust. I will try. I have to. God has proven He knows what I need and His timing is better than mine.
We still have a long way to go before we leave and I hope that I will have friends that are willing to help. The house has to be cleaned and gotten ready to sell. We have to finish packing and I still have restrictions. We will see, but I know that I will get it done. I usually do things for myself and I expect it to be that way again. I am the first person people call on for help but usually the last person they are willing to help in return. I am not angry about it anymore, just stating the facts. The thing is, now I know that I can take care of it. Jim and I can do it and with God's help nothing is beyond our reach.
We will be moving to Florida. I know that is where we are supposed to be and I am going to believe.
